Why do marriages break up? Why do people divorce?

Abstract: And so, questions of rendering of the psychological help to family has old history. Now increase of interest to the problems connected with family is marked. For the decision of this problem we offer the help in strengthening family and overcoming of crises of development of family with helping constructions of consultation for clashing and getting divorced spouses.

Undoubtedly, the reason for each divorce and divorce-as a social phenomenon can not be the same. Family tragedies are due to both social and microsocial conditions in which the family lives, and the spouses' personal, age, psychological peculiarities.

As a result, the child is experiencing emotional disturbances that cause certain barriers for further adaptation to relationships with parents. This in turn causes parents to responding affective reaction, and creates a chain of family relationship disorders.

Family issues are resolved much more easily if friendly relationships between parents are determined by their interaction with each other and with the children. 

Everything that has been said about the family, the impact of the conflict, also relates to the more complex and deeper conflict, divorce, with the difference that in this case parents do not want to give up for the sake of the family. As a result, parents have been arguing more and more violent and irresponsible, to suppress their own feelings of guilt and justify themselves. Such conflicts have more destructive effect on the child.

Cooperation with pedagogical and other public organizations will also be very effective for overcoming this problem. From this point of view, it is important  to set up "advisory centers" to overcome the crises for conflict and problematic families that have reached the divorce threshold. Lawyers, sexologists, psychotherapists, sociologists, educators may be alongside psychologists to assist such families.

Such "advisory centers" suggest to focus on personal issues of individual members of the family and lead psychological correction with the organization of personal growth.

In the scientific literature, where there is a reference to the principles of family counseling, the following scheme of work with a married couple is proposed:

1. Determine the motives of husband and wife to protect their family;

2. Allow each of them to fully express his attitude towards the established family situations;

3. Develop a positive therapeutic attitude of couples to each other;

4. Examine the history of marriage and the characteristics of spouses’ relationships;

5. Formulate ideas about the positive and negative qualities of the husband and wife;

6. Determine the empathic ability of the husband and wife;

7. Getting information about factors that are in the disagreements of the couple;

8. Examine the divorcing couple's relationship and interaction models;

9. To make an illusion about sexual life of spouses;

10. Explain to the woman and her husband to focus on the present and the future. 

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